Grace and Glory

Musings from the Threshold

Multitudes of Manna

Let us, with a gladsome mind,
Praise the Lord, for He is kind.

For His mercies aye endure,
Ever faithful, ever sure.

Let us blaze His Name abroad,
For of gods He is the God.

(John Mil­ton was 15 years old when he wrote this hymn.)

Gifts #625-693
~ Grace in weeks of unwritten thanks
~ Learning to see His love-gifts in all
~ Opportunity to apprentice – learning living skills from loving hearts and hands
~ Dependable sprinkler
~ Life-giving water
~ Bees spreading life to plants
~ Extra weeks of staffing and learning
~ Vegetable blossoms
~ A fortnight of Papa and Mama

~ Five days off for my man
~ A new Independence Day tradition
~ Field trips with family
~ Wonder of gleaming wood and the dance of machinery to roll out flour
~ Majestic view for miles

~ Straight dirt roads fading to the horizon
~ Grocery store surprise visit with friends
~ Thrift store bag sale
~ Five day break from work-pain for my love
~ Bread dough – bubbling, rising, sometimes falling*, always nourishing
~ Tendonitis*
~ Kisses in the dark
~ Afternoons at family camp – sun, swimming, fellowship, learning
~ Evenings of Rage with family and friends

~ Snacks and laughter
~ Night of good rest before the first “birth call” of my apprenticeship
~ The multitude of midwives who have blessed me with their care, friendship, knowledge over the last 15+ years
~ Dark quiet candlelit labor
~ The waiting
~ Soul nourishment in the waiting
~ Labor-throes cry announcing the time is near
~ Life out of darkness
~ Tether unwound
~ Fresh pinking baby skin
~ The slow of blood
~ Skills honed over hours, days, nights, years – of study, practice, and prayer… my preceptors
~ Glad welcome upon arriving home
~ Family held together
~ Mountains of laundry done by Mama
~ That hit-by-a-train feeling
~ Nine hours of sleep… blessed sleep
~ Lingering awe of playing some small part in welcoming a new life
~ Morning of fellowship and soul-stretching with our body of believers
~ Heart-sister caring for me so tangibly
~ Challenge: “How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?” John 5.44
~ Laughter and heart-tying over fellowship lunch
~ Flurry of preparation
~ Helping hands and soothing heart … my Mama
~ Arrival of Beka-honey and The Cousins
~ House spilling over with family, friends, and pancakes
~ Air-conditioning on record-setting days
~ Cooler mornings (even when I find it odd to think of 83′ as the cool of the morning)
~ Bird antics, reminders to bring my camera to the porch in the morning
~ Orioles bobbing the trumpet vines as they feast
~ Wisp of a breeze across the porch
~ Redemption with the precious blood of Christ
~ Cousins making memories
~ Living life together
~ Walking with three dear ladies
~ A blast at the Splash
~ Heart-changes

~ Cousin pics
~ Fivefingers
~ Double batch of green salve
~ New leaves on weather weary plants… do we all just need to put down deeper roots to bear fruit?
~ Forming connections with new care providers
~ Returning to prayer meeting after two weeks away – oh! the sweetness!
~ A bank of clouds to form a bit of a sunset show, followed by a few more at sunrise
~ Lessons in trust, thanksgiving, and perseverance in the midst of seemingly unending dry intense heat
~ That seemingly unending dry intense heat
~ Inspiration in preparation

Retracing Blessings

I’m sitting in His presence,
The sunshine of His face,
While with adoring wonder
His blessings I retrace.
It seems as if eternal days
Are far too short to sound His praise.

Oh, the love that sought me!
Oh, the blood that bought me!
Oh, the grace that brought me to the fold,
Wondrous grace that brought me to the fold.

Gifts #589 – 624
~ The first sunflower blooms of the year spotted on June 1
~ The profusion blooming in the weeks since
~ The tenderness with which He seeks me
~ The old, old story of Jesus and His love (see here and here for two wonderful hymns on this theme from a poem by A. Katherine Hankey)
~ Corn planted at last (and now coming up)
~ First week of LTC for D
~ Treasured hours with our young man home between weeks of camp
~ Gift that overwhelms
~ Unity of purpose
~ Peace in knowing our Shepard will lead
~ First week of staffing
~ 4 years

~ 8 years

15 years

~ Unconditional blessing
~ First savings account
~ Watching the wheat through its stages

~ Harvest in process
~ Break in the heat
~ A heart-soothing Savior
~ Goal-success for a friend
~ Realization that it’s okay to need a summer break
~ Growing garden
~ Week of working and playing peaceably with my Blessings
~ Anticipation of having everyone home for a week
~ God, my Rock and fortress
~ Early Ed. appointment for Andrew
~ Fondly remembered therapist at his screening
~ Encouragement about his progress
~ Family weekends
~ Abundance of birds and blooms about the yard

~ Discouragement that comes when grand ideas don’t start off with a bang
~ Lessons in patience and perseverance
~ Mulberries richness gathered
~ Freedom, for which Christ has set us free
~ Lessons in laying hold of that for which Christ Jesus has laid hold of me (The Green Letters by Miles J Stanford)

Multiple weeks worth of Multitude Mondays on Memorial Day

Gifts #532 – 588
~ Pink Peonies gracing my table and scenting my home
~ Garden sprinkler arching water over growing plants
~ Wind stilled for a brush-and-box burning

~ Space cleared in the shop
~ Puttering around the property with my love
~ Heart-lift from seeing dear faces as we run errands
~ Developing an errand-day routine
~ The wonder of the library
~ Intersecting library days
~ Driving my love to work when I need to use the van
~ Anticipation of two vehicles come July
~ Rural Kansas steering-wheel waves
~ Dirt Roads
~ Successful meal experiments
~ Young men making tortillas
~ Scripture songs with dear ones (for 20 minutes on a Wednesday night!)
~ Some rain at last
~ A walk-and-talk with Bethany
~ Meeting a “new” friend (who actually helped at B’s birth)
~ Paint on the walls
~ Drum of rain on metal roof
~ Hugs from sleepy Blessings
~ Cast iron skillet in use on my gas stove
~ Gorgeous sunset storm enjoyed with family

~ River play on a Saturday
~ Heat of sun on skin
~ Siblings enjoying one another’s company
~ Exploring together
~ Renewed motivation to get healthier
~ My Savior’s body broken and His blood shed
~ Fellowship lunch spent in sweet fellowship
~ Flowers blooming
~ Busy-ness of birds preparing for the night as I take an evening walk
~ Song of a bird behind me, calling me to turn and catch sight of the giant bank of fluffy pink clouds in the east
~ Blooming peonies
~ Husband who reminds me to take care of myself
~ Necklace lying loose around my neck
~ Cottonwood fluff drifting
~ A rocker in my quiet bedroom with birds outside noisily about their morning business
~ Deepfelt need for wisdom
~ Tears of joy
~ Working hard, side by side with the Blessings
~ Enjoying the fruits of our labor as we look around the yard
~ Garden progress
~ Mulberry-rhubarb pie
~ Friends to help trim fruit trees and give orchard lessons
~ Our eldest at Leadership Training Camp
~ Delight of seeing camp friends
~ Second generation LTCers
~ Reminders to pray
~ Visit from a sweet neighbor
~ Jesus – never failing Redeemer
~ The Father’s determination to form the image of Christ in me
~ A day to remember those who have fought and died for our freedom

My Health Journey – an update

I’ll get the confession part of this post out-of-the-way right off the bat. I got stuck on my journey for a few weeks. I had five days of sickness, which had some scale advantages, but also weakened me considerably and contributed to my difficulty in getting back into my fitness routine. But honestly, my stalled-out-state was more mental than physical.

I got stuck in complacent mode.

Yes, I was still thirty pounds from my goal weight.

But …
I was over thirty pounds down from the weight I “settled” at after Andrew’s birth.
I no longer cringed when I passed mirrors or saw pictures of myself.
I was into the smallest clothes I owned, aside from a few favorite “thin” outfits I’d saved.

I was starting to think, “You know, I look pretty good for a mother of eight.” Not in a “maybe I’ll stay here for the rest of my life” kind of way, but in a “hmmm, maybe I don’t need to walk today after all” kind of way.
But you know what? “Hmmm, maybe I don’t need to walk today” thinking leads to “maybe I’ll stay here for the rest of my life” thinking.

Thankfully, I “woke up” last Saturday and remembered that my reasons for eating carefully and moving more are bigger than not being disgusted at myself or wearing a particular size of clothing. That being healthy and strong is much more important than looking “pretty good for a mom-of-eight.” That I don’t want to be the fat old lady who hurts her children and grandchildren as they try to care for her. That I want to be the mama and gramma who runs and hikes and swims and plays actively with her children and grandchildren. That I want to glorify God in my body.

So I got moving again this week. I walked with my friend Bethany on Monday and Wednesday, did lots of active work outside with the Blessings, and was thoughtful with my eating. It was nice when the scale showed the difference yesterday morning (I crossed 20 pounds lost since joining Sparkpeople and 35 lost from my “settled” post-baby weight), but better than the numbers is the way I’ve felt. I’m back to pursuing my health goals and becoming who I am meant to be in this area, and it changes my perspective and attitude about so many things!

Thank you, Lord, for the gentle reminders! Help me to be faithful to abide in You and to bring joy to Your heart as I pursue being the woman You’ve called me to be, both inside and outside.

Here are some pictures of my journey that I posted yesterday on my Sparkpeople page.  I was surprised by how dramatic they seem to me…
September 1995 – Our Wedding Day

August 2010 – Three months post-baby and heavier than the aforementioned “settled” weight.  I was already cringing at the thought of looking at this picture.  Can you tell?

May 2011 – Making progress. And loving it!

A Multitude of Gifts this Monday!

I missed posting my thanks last Monday, so I have a couple weeks worth today. But first, a bit of Psalm 118 that lifted me up this morning:

Psalm 118:19-29
Open to me the gates of righteousness, that I may enter through them and give thanks to the LORD.
This is the gate of the LORD; the righteous shall enter through it.
I thank you that you have answered me and have become my salvation.
The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.
This is the LORD’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Save us, we pray, O LORD! O LORD, we pray, give us success!
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD! We bless you from the house of the LORD.
The LORD is God, and he has made his light to shine upon us. Bind the festal sacrifice with cords, up to the horns of the altar!
You are my God, and I will give thanks to you; you are my God; I will extol you.
Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!

Gifts #532 – 581
~ A God Who does not need me; who chooses to love me (Ps 50)
~ Breaks in the clouds, with silver, white, and blue showing through
~ Rainbows in hose water
~ Reminders of His promises
~ A guest bedroom – a real live guest bedroom!
~ Pleasant people on my quest for new license and tag
~ Stomach yuck almost over
~ A working grain mill for my use
~ Glenn’s Bulk Foods
~ Wheat berries and fresh flour experiments
~ Sr Smiths’ safe arrival in town
~ House found for them
~ Unloading a moving truck once instead of twice
~ Assurance of God’s wisdom and planning
~ Week (and weak) of sickness
~ Extra days of closer fellowship
~ The side effects of being sick
~ The steadfast love of God endures all the day (Ps. 52.1)
~ Birthday celebration for our one year old

~ Picnic in the park
~ Pepper and tomatoes in the ground, thanks to my Blessings
~ Joy of watching a little man follow his Daddy while he works on the chicken coop
~ Bright red cardinal in the green at my window
~ Blue eggs!
~ Irises blooming out my kitchen window – my favorite flower prepared for me
~ Cut flowers from my Blessings
~ Familiar blast of hot air upon exiting Dillons
~ The gift of sharing a chicken tractor
~ Dreams and plans for a couples trip
~ Simple joys that are part of dreams come true
~ Wheat fields undulating in the wind
~ Sunset light on a dear face
~ Baggy-bottom pants that were lately too tight to wear
~ 360′ sunset colors

~ Vast expanse of fluffy white intermingled with patches of azure
~ Sweet potato promise
~ Trees and vines trimmed and cleared
~ Joy of co-laboring with family
~ Menu and budgeting progress
~ Heart-mingling by phone (with my beloved parents)
~ Anticipation of a coming visit
~ Planting sunflowers with a precious almost-four-year-old boy
~ LTC Registration
~ Paint Purchased
~ Family discussions around the supper table
~ Awe-inspiring stump fire
~ Prayer with my love in the sunrise light
~ Psalms that resonate with my heart
~ The LORD – my strength, song, and salvation! (Ps. 118.14)

Gifts abounding


Gifts #501 – 531
Seeds in the ground at last
The contagious love of planting
Unexpected opportunity
A full-time job for J
Budgeting potentialities and challenges
My wind chimes singing steadily on the front porch
Hard working man
Soul satisfaction
A friend and neighbor with whom to walk
Garden fencing beginning
Tomato cages
A walk to the mailbox with my Doodlebug
Cardinal singing
First poultry sale
Crazy wind
Stomach yuck
Work day at KBC
Our crazy chicken that eat the seeds I plant but lay such lovely eggs
Two hidden egg stashes found
Working stove after a month of learning contentment without one
Three days of remembering, “A year ago at this time…” leading up to a
One year old birthday boy – a whole year with our precious little man
Him sharing a birthday with a May Day miracle girl
Packages from far away
Hearts that are close over the miles
Hearing word of justice served from my Mama, the one who called me to tell me to turn on my tv that awful sunny September morning almost a decade ago
The reminder that I have earned my place – an eternity separated from my Creator
God’s grace – redeeming, drawing, saving grace
Love beyond my grasp
A friend who cares to call and check on us in our sickies
Finished garden fence

Time for a This-and-That

House stuff – we’re making progress! The main living areas are pretty much settled, except the library, which needs a ton of work (floor patched so that we can put up bookcases in a currently unusable corner, lots of books to unpack, etc). We are loving our expanded space, and are so thankful. Really, truly, I will get more pictures posted soon.

The garden is coming along. Slower than we’d like, but the ground is ready for planting now, so once the fence is complete, we can get some goodies growing. I did get peas planted this last week, and we lined up tomato cages along the row to protect them from the chickens. The chickens are the reason we need the fence; they adore scratching up seeds that I have planted. For instance, this afternoon I went out and planted some morning glories at the base of the windmill. I had more seeds than I could use there, so I went to the other side of the house, planted some near the garden, and watered them. When I got back to water the seeds by the windmill, the chickens had already decimated the area. Perhaps some will come up despite them. But you can see why we don’t want to plant the garden until it is fenced!

We will also be planting some things out in the yard, as the actual garden area is pretty small. Tomatoes and peppers will be in cages, and we hope to have our winter squash fenced in another area of the yard. Summer squash might fit in the main garden, but we’ll see.

Settling in to the neighborhood is a fun experience. Our closest neighbor, Bethany, has been a friend of ours for almost four years now and helped lead us to this house. She lives with her aunt, who is super sweet and has come over a couple of times to visit. Another aunt and uncle live on the other side of Bethany, and came to meet us/bring us a meal soon after we moved in. We’re looking forward to getting to know more folks in the immediate area as time goes by.

We are out in the country in between a tiny town and a shopping/business area, and are about 15 minutes from Hutchinson. It has much more of a “country” feel than where we used to live, and at the same time is closer to town. It is also closer to work for Jonathan, who is working for a company in the aforementioned shopping/business area that builds storage buildings/barns. What a blessing to be only a few minutes from work! He is working long hard days, and is adjusting to working for someone else again after almost 6 years of being self employed. I’m so thankful for his hard work and diligence.

It has been a blessing to be back fellowshipping with folks who are dear to us and who have known us most of our lives. There are actually three meetings in Hutch where we might have landed, each of which has many folks who meet the above description, but we feel that we have “landed” where we should be.

We had an educational and fun experience yesterday. A small town nearby has a monthly “poultry sale,” and we are eager to get some guineas to eat our ticks, so we headed out there yesterday. Many of the sellers and buyers are Amish or Mennonite, so there were many tractors pulling truck-bed trailers or horse trailers behind them (these are locally considered an acceptable alternative to a buggy or car for family transportation). There were rows of animals in small cages in the sale area, and we learned that it was an auction, not the type of seller-to-buyer type sale we were expecting. We filled out our registration, got our number, and set out to learn the ropes.

The auctioneer moved up and down the rows of animals and other merchandise, and folks would bid on each item in turn. There were lots of poultry – chickens, ducks, geese, turkeys, guineas, peacocks – of varying ages. There were eggs for hatching and eggs for eating. Also for sale were an interesting variety of other animals and merchandise – goats, sheep, horses, ponies, cages of all sizes, buckets, fencing, even a hammock.

We had no idea what it would be like; we forgot the cage we were going to bring for transport; and the poultry seemed to go for a good bit more than we expected. Perhaps we were just being cheap, but we decided to mostly observe. Jonathan did bid on some guineas, but other folks though they were more dear than he did. Adding interest to the day were the 30-50 mph winds, which sent some of the Blessings back to the van to wait after walking around a bit. Over all, it was a very interesting and fun learning experience. We’re certainly planning on going again.

On a personal note, my weight-loss efforts have been greatly abetted by a great website, sparkpeople.com. When I started with them on 3/26, I had gotten down to 8 pounds under my pre-pregnancy (with Andrew) weight. I’ve taken off an additional 13ish pounds as of yesterday’s weigh-in. SP is totally free, has tons of helpful tools, and it is helping me make lifestyle changes, not just diet. I think the biggest impact has been from tracking every thing I eat and exercising more, and their tools have been a tremendous help in that. It also is a terrific encouragement that two dear Missouri friends are also on sparkpeople and inspire and encourage me.

By way of disclaimer, sparkpeople does not “allow” nursing moms to use the site, and, at the risk of the SP police coming after me, I will admit that I skipped that box when I registered. They want to avoid promoting weight loss at cost to babies, and I appreciate that! Not all moms are well enough educated nutritionally to be trying to lose weight while nursing a baby. I didn’t sign up with them until Andrew was almost 11 months old and eating solids in addition to nursing. I also aim for the upper end of my “calorie range” to insure that I’m getting enough. If I’m hungry, I eat. I am motivated by tracking my food to eat stuff that is good for us, instead of just filling. That’s how I’m making it work for me and Andrew. I think I’m honestly giving him much better nutrition now than I was before I started SP, when I was still eating way too much junk. Also, I will not eat fake “low fat” food. If the real thing is worth the calories, I eat it. If not, I don’t. (*steps away from her “fake food” soapbox before she gets wound up). I don’t want to encourage moms toward weight loss that in a way that is going to cost their precious babies the nutrition they need. Nourishing babies with good quality milk is soooo much more important than losing weight.

While I’m sure I’m leaving out many things that have been on my mental blog-about list, this hopefully gives you a little taste of our “new” life. No pictures, but they’re coming!

Multitude Monday, on Tuesday

I was reading in Psalms this morning and these verses popped out at me:
“Hear, O my people, and I will speak; O Israel, I will testify against you. I am God, your God. Not for your sacrifices do I rebuke you; your burnt offerings are continually before me. I will not accept a bull from your house or goats from your folds. For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills. I know all the birds of the hills, and all that moves in the field is mine. “If I were hungry, I would not tell you, for the world and its fullness are mine. Do I eat the flesh of bulls or drink the blood of goats? Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me. The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!”
Psalm 50:7-15,23

O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalm 51:15-17

But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever. I will thank you forever, because you have done it. I will wait for your name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly.
Psalm 52:8-9

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life. With a freewill offering I will sacrifice to you; I will give thanks to your name, O LORD, for it is good.
Psalm 54:4,6

I was also reminded of this passage (one of my favorite Scripture songs):
Therefore David blessed the LORD in the presence of all the assembly. And David said:
“Blessed are you, O LORD, the God of Israel our father, forever and ever. Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O LORD, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all. And now we thank you, our God, and praise your glorious name. “But who am I, and what is my people, that we should be able thus to offer willingly? For all things come from you, and of your own have we given you.”
1 Chronicles 29:10-14

Gifts #470 – 500
Hazy mornings
Memories in dishes
A walk in the dark
Paint approved!
A lovely home to organize
Boy who loves to bounce
Sunshine on windowsill
Eucharisteo – thanksgiving making time
More than enough
Pages turning
Little man squealing joy
Rest
The sacrifice of thanksgiving
Blessings learning gratitude
Resuming routine
Learning/discovering the new routine
Reading through Passion Week
Servant-love from the Maker of the universe
He washes me!
He uttered not a word
Resurrection Sunday breakfast and fellowship

The joy of watching children play

Spring flowers that remind of new life
A late garden
Lessons in perseverance
Encouragement from my man
Book suggestions
Opportunities to “be called sons of God”
Little boy squeezes
Aching hands – a reminder of limits